Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Worried about function

It is distressing to find that I cannot think clearly. There is much work to do, reading philosophical and literary works, writing about them, but I am distracted and tired. I want to think my way out of his problem but haven't the strength. Times like this are when I wonder if I'm fit for scholarly endeavors. Just because I like reading the books assigned for my English major classes, doesn't mean I'm good at understanding and writing about such things. But I'll just keep working on it, can't say I'm done for yet just because I've never succeeded in the past.

This may be a problem that is not intellectual, but physical. If I get a bread maker recipe then I can take sandwiches to school instead of going hungry. And even though it bothers me to take caffeine pills every day, I can't afford drinks, and have yet to find some alternative to alertness.
It disturbs be how people laugh and joke about caffeine, coffee and energy drinks. Maybe that's just their mechanism for not being disturbed themselves, laughter negates and covers the fact that most of the nation is on a stimulant drug. While there are no obvious side affects physiologically, its a statement that I, as a human being cannot be at my best capability without some external agency. If you can't trust your mind, how are you going to figure things out?

And there lies the problem, and I can't think well enough at the moment to rethink this issue, and edit it to become a more clear, orderly argument, following the implications and results of each clause. We'll see what I can do tomorrow.

Grady ~ bleh

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